Raya esok

ler..kami rupanya raya esok gak..kikikikii..ingtkan rabu..rupenye selasa..huhuhu..last puasa la td rupanya..

Eid-ul Fitr is coming..

Ramadan has come and gone..Now, there is only one day left before we celebrate Eid-ul Fitr. Since the past two weeks, I keep turning on my online radio and Imeem playlist simply just to hear Raya songs. The songs that can only give me the feeling of Eid-ul fitr environment in a foreign land. This coming Eid keeps my mind lingering and thinking about elderly great and grand parents that has passed away. Thus, making me reciting any "surah" in the holy quran after my prayer, to the those who has passed away. Nowadays, the raya feeling is getting less merrier than the past few years.Why has this happened? Is it because I am getting old or just because the modern life makes raya feel like normal days? I can precisely remember when I was a kid, every raya we will bring one small bag to keep our duit raya and we will challenge each other ( I mean between our siblings), who will get more duit raya? Truthfully, the highest collection of duit raya I ever had when I was a kid was just Rm 200..But if, during adult time is counted here, the highest amount of duit raya that I received ever was worth RM 2000. Sadly, I just went on a shopping spree with the money and nothing was left to be put in my savings account. what a shame! hehehe.

Talking about Eid, I hope this year is not the last time I am celebrating fasting and Eid. I pray to Allah to give me and my family a long life to give us a chance to celebrate it together as a family. I can't imagine Eid without my parents beside me.. To my friends who have lost their parents and family , I hope you can celebrate raya happily even only with the memories with your beloved ones left to be remembered..Together we pray and dua for them so that their souls will be placed among the pious people..Amin

Where we will go to celebrate Eid? Well, I think maybe just in Liege since I have a class on the Eid's day. Maybe we will have an open house in a couple of weeks. But, everything is still in the planning stage. So, if we do make it, we will invite all the relevant person to join our open house. For our Eid menu, I will cook soto, nasi himpit, instant lemang, kuah kacang, maybe satay and a few more dishes to be written down in our list...

So, I take this opportunity to wish 'salam aidilfitri' to all my family, friends, cyber friends and all. No matter how long we have not meet each other face to face, no matter where we are?, no matter who we are? but one thing for sure, we look for the same crescent and moon for this raya..and I hope we can enjoy this coming Eid-ul Fitr as better muslimin and muslimat..InsyaAllah..

P/S - The melancholy entry is in commemoration of the celebration of Eid-ul Fitr in a foreign land, a thousands million far away distance between my family and I...

Tagged

I've been tagged by nabil.

1) What is the most important thing in your life?
Err...many things..

2) What is the last thing that you bought with your own money?
Emm,, my clothes during soldes.

3) Where do you wish to get married?
I am already married.

4) How old do you think you will be permanently owned by your love?
Er..maybe since I was 26 years old..or entahla..Nothing is forever..

5) Are you in love?
Yes..hehehhee..I am in love with a guy named Izham..Love u !

6) Name the latest book that you bought?
French book for the new beginner and French dictionary.

7)What is your full name?
Blaa...binti..bla...

8) Do you prefer your mother or father
Of course both, but sometimes I prefer to talk to my mum when I have a problem..Not marriage problem though..This problem will be told to my new good listener friend . You know who you are! ( yg sllu online ngn aku la) Thanks frenz..I am glad to know u..hehehe..

9) Name a person that you really wish to meet in real life for the first time..
Emm..so far, nobody..

10) Christina or Britney?
Neither Christina nor Britney..Both of them are crap ..hhehehe.

11) Do you do your own laundry?
Who else??

12) The most exciting place you want to go?
Tour all over the European Country and of course to Mecca..Insya Allah..

13) Hugs or kisses?
Depends on the mood and condition..hehehee..Well, I know I can have them both easily from my hubby..hehhee..muahs..

14) Point out 5 things about the person who tagged you.
I do not know her very well, but I guess..she is easygoing, determined in any action that she takes, good student ( yela sb tgh wat PHD heheheh), going on holiday to homeland soon, bad tempered ( I guess!), jgn marah aku ..ampun..hehe..and lastly..Nabil, it much better ko tambah sendiri last thing tentang ko ..hhehehe..

15)8 things I am passionate about:
Lazy to list down..but plenty k..but one of that is, blogging..

16)8 things I say too often:
-Ek?
-apa?
-tak nak sudah..
-jop
-yes
-no
-U syg I tak? Normal la..sembang ngn laki..apa lg nk tanya..hehehe..
-Bosannya..

17)4 books I’ve read recently:
French for beginner.
Mostly are mags such as..cosmopolitan, easy living, OK, Hello and many more..most of the mags are the gossips about the celebrities..

18)8 songs I could listen to over and over again:
-For this moment is koleksi lagu raya.
-graduation by vit.c.
-Love storey by andy william.
-You are my everything by santa Esmeralda.
-Youth of the Nation by P.O.D
-Yesterday by the Beattles.
-Lagu siti yang lama2.
-Lagu-lagu melayu tapi zaman tahun 90 -an.

19)8 things I learnt last year:
I learnt a lot of things and most of them, make me become wiser, matured and emotionally control in any action. Especially when I have something that make my mind frayed like crap!
-I learnt to be more tolerate with my partner.
-I learnt to appreciate what I have.
-I learnt to be a good cook.
-I learnt to improve my English language.
-I learnt to adapt myself and worked in a foreign land..I used to work as a cleaner a.k.a floor engineer, data entry clerk with royal mail and it only last for 2 weeks though..hehehe because I was so bored with the working environment ..mengadap komputer mcm taik..as a volunteer worker at the charity shop, nevertheless ,I got paid you know! Not too bad.. 8 quids for 2 hours working in a week..hehhe..
-I learnt about the foreign culture during travelling.
-I learnt to be more careful in every single aspects in life..
- I learnt everything..in every single seconds..

8 people that I love to tag -
nobody...sorry! hehehe

Salam Aidilfitri

I want to take this opportunity to wish "selamat hari raya adilfitri and maaf zahir batin" to all my family, friends, my blog readers ( not to forget for the silent readers ) and all muslim people. Makan kuih raya tu ingat2 la kat kami ni..last year eid-ul fitr was the same date with my birthday..tahun ni nampaknya takle..hehhehe..anyway enjoy hari raya and cuti sepuas2nya k!!!!

cheers!!

My sister

I got news from my parents that my elder sister is admitted to the hospital, HUKM after being ill for a couple of days. She was hospitalized this morning and straightaway the medical staffs strolling her down to the Emergency unit. The doctor said that, she had the dengue fever. Her platlet counts is lower than it should be. And as the matter of fact, if there is no immediate action taken it can lead to bleeding cases and if the platelet level drops significantly, a platelet transfusion is indicated in this cases . Do remember that, our platelet should not be lower than the minimum level! If not we are in trouble and it can lead to the bleeding as known as 'denggi berdarah' in Malay.

My brother said that the doctor had to have an intravenous drip in her hand to make her feel better. Only a huge volume of water intake can increase the platelet and as usual, there is no medicine for the dengue fever. In fact, this fever takes quite a longer time to recover. In the hospital she is only being given paracetamol to make things getting better.

Well, I do not know whether now is the dengue season or what in Malaysia? But, I hope there will be no more of my beloved family and friends getting this fever. I can't bear to accept the bad news anymore..Hope my sister will get better soon..Pity her new baby girl, only 2 months old and she needs to be left with..emm.. I don't know whom..when her dad needs to go to work if my sister still in the ward. However, I hope my brother in law can think of something about their kids..Oh dear! Eid-ul Fitr just around the corner,and I really hope everything is ok soon...

Belgium signature food!

Did you ever know and think what is the most famous and successful of your local cuisine? Truthfully, I never ever thought about it before, until my friend Z told me to get to know the local food and grab the opportunity to taste them. Well, maybe she is right. Before this, when somebody asked me about Belgium's famouse cuisine, I will definitely say waffle and Belgian chocolate are the Belgian signature food. but, I was wrong! After, Z gave me the wikipedia link about Belgium food, I was shocked to know that French fries is first invented in Belgium..Seriously, I thought that French fries is from France! Why the hell did they name it French instead of Belgian? Freely, the France got the undeniable famous fries trademark in the world! What a shame!

So, for those who intend to visit Belgium, do not forget to try Belgium waffle that is so delicious! Emm..Yummyyy! The taste of the waffle is double thumbs up from me, Err..maybe unlike others. One thing for sure though, buy home made waffle instead of Factory made. That's the rules that you should know when buying.

I will bear in mind, after this no matter how tight our budget is during travelling, we must taste the local food. Well, even though the choices are limited but still, we can find something that Halal in terms of the ingredients that they used. Apparently, there is one item need to be written down in our long list of travelling trip in the future.Horrayyy!! chop...chop..chop..when is your next trip, Nurul? Stop dreaming will you?

My self studying and refrences for french course..

Le soleil est jaune.. (masculine)

La mer est bleu... (feminine)

La nuit est noire.. (feminine)

La nerge est blanche.. (feminine)

Le drap est blanc.. (masculine)

La herbe est verte..(feminine)

Mone costume est gris..

Ma voiture est couleur argent..

Sa bague est en or..

Les tournesols est Jaunes..(pluriel masculine)

Le vin est rouge...(masculine)

The true celebration!

Medieval Era or what?

I like that lady's costume

Scottishmen and the bags pipe! Err..not really scottish, perhaps..

The rest of the pics can be viewed in my fotopages..cheers!!!

Meideval age festival, Liege

Even though we live right in the middle of the city centre, we do not know that there is a festival taking place tonight. The grand opening of the festival portrayed shows from the oldest age up to the Medieval age started at 7pm. And this festival will last for a week. The opening began with a costume parade along the road, just by ours. So we managed to take pics from the window. NevertheLess, the quality of the pics are not as good as they should be. After breaking fast, we went off to the festival field to take more photos, but with the sardines of audience, again, we could not use the tripod and ended up getting only few good pics.

During the parade, they marched in a period of time arrangement. Beginning from the oldest period up to the medieval period. Not to forget, there were soldier uniforms from World War 1 from countries of France, Germany and Belgium and many more that I do not know how to describe in details since my knowledge in the historical era is limited...hehehhee..but, one thing for sure...the costume parade has succeeded to catch hundreds of people eyes..

I heard that this is a yearly event, and I noticed that Liege is a historical town that is full of various events. Since we have been here for the past six months, there were more than 5 events that we have been through. Can you imagine how the Liege people love the festival mood more than they love working! In fact, they are too lazy in doing jobs especially the government staffs!

Whatever, as long as they do not bother my life so, I think they can do what they want to do..and I can indulge myself in festival mood indeed!

Laundrette's story!

As usual, friday will be my laundry day. So, I went off to the launderette to get my job done. When I was in the shop, I met one elderly lady at the age of 70 yrs, perhaps. Actually she was trying to help me with the phone call since I can't speak French. The incident was like this, Before starting the washing machine, I needed to insert money in the centralize machine. After inserting Euro 5 note, I tried to press my washing machine number. Unfortunately,it was not working. So, when this lady noticed that I was in trouble, she offered hands to me. She asked me something, but I could not understand it..Suddenly, she popped in a question, "Parlez vous Anglais?". That mean, Do you speak English? Such a lucky day for me, because it was the least question that I would expected from local people in the French speaking area..hahaaha..

So I told her what the problem was..Actually, I was shocked to death because,at first I intended to ask help from her but in my heart I said, she is too old and she might not know other languages. See, the moral is, do not judge the book by its cover..hehee..Of course I did not expect the 70 yrs old lady to speak good english in Belgium. But, she proved me wrong!hehhee..She was my life saviour..

Straightaway, she made a phone call to the laundrette owner on my behalf, I was pretty glad indeed! When we were waiting for the owner to come, we spoke to each other and out of the blue, she asked me whether I wanted her furniture or not. Does it sounds weird? Well, she said that she wanted to give away the furniture since she is moving to Brittany, France soon. Rather than renting some bloody fortune van for the transportation, it would be much better to give up all the things to charity.

I did ask her though, why would she consider giving everything to me when she didn't even know me? It sounded too good to be true. In fact, if she tried to hustle me, she will not get any benefit from that..And she said, when she was living in California (she lived there for 30 years and worked as a French language teacher in the US and after retired she came back to Belgium.)there were many chinese and asian people living there and she trusted them and respected them so much,because she said Asian people are serious in doing something unlike the Belgians. Waw, I felt like flying in the air..bangga sat jadi Asean people..hehhe..or maybe because, Asian love the freebie? hehehe

Well, I said to her that, I am broke this month, so if there is nobody wanting the furniture by mid of october, I will arrange the transport to collect all those things..I hope so..We exchanged our contact numbers though!Tgkla cene nanti..hehehe ..ada rezeki adala..if something is meant for you, it will be yours ..no matter how long it takes!

Ciao!

Boredom !!

I have been busy since earlier of this week and almost disregarded this blog. I am not particularly disregarding it, but truthfully, I haven't got any idea what to talk about. For the French learning,I ended up staying at my current level. I changed my mind after the class on wednesday. But why? Emm...well, I think I can adapt to the language itself after self studying beforehand. I can slowly catch the idea of the learning. Alhamdulillah, I think as long as I am willing to do the revision,I can manage.

Am is also busy with the conference, thus, resulting in me breaking fast alone for almost the rest of the week. Nevertheless, I prefer that way though because I do not need to cook various dishes and it makes my life much easier.

One thing that keep lingering in my mind is, I am looking forward to closing this blog and moving to the new address. All the changes will be informed later, If I have a new one..if not, otherwise...but stopping to blog altogether seems like, disconnecting to the whole world. The boundaryless world that makes my life cheerful and exuberant! I can write everything that I want to, but sometimes my sane thoughts become the line that marks a limit of can(s) and cannot(s).


Just now, we went to watch concert behind our place, well..French songs concert though! so ended up took few pics and ciao!

Oh by the way, Malaysian Embassy has invited us for breaking fast this coming saturday, but we will not be able to join the event since the invitation is a bit last minute. Plus, we are broke after the trip to Germany and Prague. However, I am pretty sure that the Embassy will invite us for Raya Open house, if there is an Open house..hehheheh..Alright! Alright! stop rambling will you, Nurul!

Happy weekend to all!

Why was it so hard?

After climbing the so called hill road, walking for 40 minutes, at last, I arrived at the College. The college that I enrolled for my French class last friday. My first impression of French learning after finishing the class was, it was so hard to learn French at this age. I felt like the stupidest person in the class. Most of the students have a basic French, and in fact, they can speak a little French. They can even understand when the teacher gave an instruction which totally in French. Nobody speaks English, only little French and their mother tongue languages. There is 20 students in my class. Most of them come from Russia, China, Morocco, Lithuania, Poland, Malaysia (me) and few other places. I requested to change for the lower class than the beginner class, but the teacher said, I have to wait for this coming wednesday to decide either I can change the class or not. If not, I need to struggle and full swing in learning. Oh dear!

For today, I learned the basic Ice breaking conversation-

1. Je m'appelle- my name is...

2. Mon nom est -My surname is..

3. Mon prenom est -my first name is....

4. Je suis nee le -My DOB.

5.Je suis de nationalite - my nationality...

6. J' habite a - I live in...

7. J'aime beaucoup - I like...

8. Je m'aime pas du tout/ Je deteste- I do not like....

And many more..so my class will be every monday and wednesday, from 1.30 pm to 4.30pm..for 10 months.

p/s- forgive me for not using french alphabetical during typing. nak cepat punya pasal..hehehe..Anyway, I love the class just it was getting hard when the teacher only speaks French to describe things. So, it just either I understand it or not..French dictionary become a closed friend of mine and I kept holding and carrying it everywhere I go. And undoubtly, I will open it when I want to look up the words just to speak with other students . Plus, everytime the new words pop in among them, automatically, I will rely on my dictionary.

Oh please! Not again!!

There was an incident that I think it is better to share with my readers. The incident that happened in the last two days, when we went to one of the continental shop that was owned by a Moroccon and the best part of this story that you have to bear in mind is, this Moroccon is a Muslim. This shop that I am talking about is situated across the river, and it is quite an outskirt location from ours. We went there to buy some halal groceries since it was much cheaper compared to the city centre. Well, I bought two boxes of chicken cube and it costed us 0.55 cent, so not to waste our time (since we were heading to the next shop after buying the chicken cube) AM quickly paid the shopkeeper with Euro ten note and the guy said that he did not have any change and he insisted us to pay with coins. So we kept looking for the coins in every single pockets and wallets that we had to get the right amount of the money. Eventually, there was the money worth 0.55 cent to be paid to the guy. After paying we asked for our Euro 10 note back. And guess what? He said that he has already returned us the money. Oh my God! Is it a joke or what?

We said, "nope..you are still holding the money!" ..and he tried to hustle us and kept saying that the money had been returned. After arguing for almost five minutes, and in fact, I almost lost my tempered and I just about to scream out loudly with my healthy lungs! I heard Am saying in a high pitch of his volume to that guy that, "this is Ramadan and it is Haram to steal and take something that does not belong to you!".(For your info, when he said that the money has already been returned, he tried to convince us by opening the cashier to show us that there was no money in the till...Of course, there was not! because he kept the money in his right hand and after we asked him to search us thoroughly, he refused to do so!. The truth was, his face started to turn reddish and look guilty).

So, after hearing the word Haram, Out of the blue, he handed over the money to us. But the bizarre thing was, if he did not hold the money, so how come the money was there, in his hand? Logically, from the start he kept the money in his hand and kept making a fuss with us in hope that we will give up and just walk away from the shop. You see, how he tried to scam us? But, hello! we watched the Real Hustle series, so we are totally used to this type of scam.

Remember that, If you hesitate or have a second thought when the scammer tries to con you, so you are dead meat! Because, they will know when you lost your ground and confidence. So my friend, please do keep an eye when you pay or give money to somebody and always check the balance that has been returned to you before leaving the shop! Do not let the scammer scam you so easily.

You see, this is why sometimes I do not trust Muslim people easily in a foreign country especially Arab people. Their bad behaviour sometimes make me think that, it is better to give away your money to the non Muslims that are homeless. At least they request the money from you and do not steal it. It just the matter of whether you are willing or not to give it to them. If you are willing to do so, they will appreciate it so much and if you are not, they just walk away instead! At least, they still have dignity compared to this so-called a bloody bastard Muslim people!! Buat malu agama islam jek!

P/S- On the contrary, this incident teach us to be more careful and not trust unknown people easily, Neither Non-Muslim nor Muslim!

Life is too short to hold the negative feelings!

Mood swings has been hitting me recently. I do not know what is wrong with me but everything seems to be wrong. I hate it when that happens. It makes me lose my plot. Enragement, weakness, fatigue, grievous, laziness and all sorts of negative feelings are now good friends of mine. Sometimes, I feel hatred but I do not know to whom? and why? I hold grudges, but to whom? Am I going to be mad? What is wrong with me. Perhaps, I am so stressed after knowing that my younger brother is not well. He was admitted to the hospital because of dengue fever. My parents told me he is getting better from the fever but another illness took place, where he could not open his mouth, and if he tried to do so, the painfulness will hit his jaws. After checking with the doctor, it was determined that something is not right but the doctor does not know what exactly happened to my bro. But the doctor said that to make my bro to be able to open his mouth like usual, he has to undergo teeth extraction, I am not talking about one tooth to be extracted but four teeth, and the nightmare is, all at once! Can you imagine that?

I still remember a few years back when I had a tooth extracted, I fell unconscious right after I had my tooth out. Not to say, how panic the dentist was with my condition, whereupon, she had to ask Am to come inside the room where I was lying down unconsciously to interrogate him whether I had any illness that forbade me from the tooth extraction. Funny enough, but it is a normal incident for me when it comes to something that involves "hospitalization and clinical". I totally cannot stand those things, I tried so many times, but when I saw blood especially, the dizziness, anxiousness and fuddle feelings will bang on my head like hell! and I admit this is my drawback in life! Sigh!

Back to my bro topic, if he refuses to extract the teeth, the doctor said that he is afraid that he has to do something with my bro's jaws. The right word for that is "to make a hole through the jaws". It sounds awful and terribly painful. Please pray for him! I asked my mum what she is going to do? And my mum said, she will try to get the traditional treatment first and maybe for a couple of days or weeks and see whether my bro shows recovery or not...Or otherwise, get the second opinion from another doctors, or if nothing is changed, maybe teeth extraction could be the last option.

For the time being, I keep my hands up and pray to Allah so that my bro will be back on track. The way that he used to be. Until this entry has been written, I still cannot figure out what exactly is the connection between dengue fever with the teeth! Any idea my friends? Apparently, I realize that I have to be more patient to face any problems that are thrown at me. I know that, life is too short to hold enragement and all the negative feelings.

Oh by the way, I just came back from college with my Friend, Stephanie. We went there to ask about the French class for me. I have found a class that suits my condition and my budget. The fee is not too bloody expensive compared to the other learning centres that we have been to before, and since I am in a tight budget after coming back from the trip..hehehe... my friend was offering me to pay for the class on behalf of me, I feel so happy until I was bursting into tears. She asked me to give the answer by the end of this week, whether to enrol for the class or not. And the first class will start next monday for almost a year and at the end of the course, I need to sit for an exam. It sounds too good to be true, but yes it is true!hehhee..Think and act wisely Nurul!

Entry rindu yang poyo dari aku!

The clock showed 1.51am in the early morning. I still cannot rest my eyes when I was in bed just now. Thus, I woke up and straightaway switched on my laptop. I browsed the oldest entry of my fotopages. Suddenly, I felt like I miss Manchester so much. It only has been five months since we left the UK but it feels like years. I miss our life in there. Well, the things that I miss so much in there are...

I miss the language that I can easily understand.

I miss the variety of English TV channels. Especially my favourite TV series such as, Hollyoaks, Corrie, Jamie at Home, How to look good naked, Colleen Real Women and many more.

I miss our old flat, Birchlane. I cannot find the photos of the flat though! Sigh!

I miss waking up in the early morning to go for work.

I miss shopping in Picadilly, the place that I pass by everyday after work, I love it there, especially when I can buy any brands easily and not as limited as in Belgium, just have your money ready and all is done!I miss buying English magazines and books easily and cheaply! I miss ASDA, the continental shops, the carboot sale every Tuesday at Longsight market.



I miss church, the place that I used to gain my knowledge in English language, I miss my best teacher ever, Miss Clare Bateman, and even though we still keep in touch through emails and messenger but it is not the same.



I miss our previous Volvo S40 car, P674JSR. The car that did a good deeds a lot for us!

I miss the greenish area in the UK, trust me, I never ever found the best greenish area view like in the UK especially the scottish land, since I have been travelling a few places in the Europe.



I miss the English cute cottages ,the castles etc.



I miss everything that was related to us.The first place that we spent as a husband and wife after we got married, Our honeymoon place, and many more.


Truthfully, not to forget I miss Faz and family, who helped us a lot when we were moving to Belgium..Thanks so much k.
(sory Faz letak gambar kat blog..heheheh)

Actually, I am getting bored living in Belgium. I am starting to think that Belgium is a boring country and in fact I still do not feel the eagerness to travel all around in Belgium like I used to feel when I was in the U.K..I miss everything there except the bullshit weather....sigh!!!


p/s - Nevertheless., I still love live in Belgium in terms of "to travel all around Europe", the weather, friends of mine in here. and...err..maybe I will appreciate Belgium after leaving Belgium for good in the future! Ops..I do know that, when in Belgium do as Belgians....But I can't help the "miss feeling" in my heart though..Tempat jatuh lagikan dikenang, inikan pula tempat berak and kencing..kikikikiki..

Adolescent Hood!

Have you ever admired someone so badly in your life? Well, I had and dare I say until now. The story began when I was in Sekolah Sains Raja Tun Azlan Shah in year 1996 as a USM matriculation student. I can precisely remember when was the first time I started to admire this guy. It happened during orientation week where all the matriculation students needed to assemble in the lecture hall. All of the students have been divided into groups and each group contained about maybe ten to 20 people. Each group must nominate one of the student as a group leader. Here came along this guy that had been nominated by his group. The first time I laid my eyes on him, I knew exactly that I admired him so much.It seemed like love at first sight! My heart pounded every time I saw him. Since that day, I always kept an eye on him. What colour his clothes were?, What dorm was he in? Where did he come from? Which class was he in? All kept lingering in my mind, and I jumped for joy when I accidently wore the same colour of clothes with him! Unfortunately, until the last day of the orientation week I still did not know much about him. The next day when the first time I stepped my foot and met the other students in my class which was Matrik Suria, suddenly my heart stopped beating when I saw that he was in the same class as me. I kept controlling myself from showing anybody in the class that I liked this guy. We had to arrange the tables to suit the condition of the class and I was definitely on cloud nine when I realized that this guy's table was at the same row as mine.

Since that day onwards, I became one of the diligent students that went to class either during day class or prep time. Mixed feelings emerged inside me. Nervous, jumpy, fidgety..just name it..all those feelings rose when I was late to school or prep. It got worse during the semester break, which was normally for two months. At first, I kept the feelings to myself until I could not bear it anymore. I publicized my feelings to all my friends especially my dorm mate. All my dorm mates will inform me about this guy in detail if they knew something about him, so it was like I had an unofficial private investigator to report to me about everything! I kept investigating about this guy and guess what? I knew almost 90% about him .I realized that, when it comes to someone that I admire so much, I will do anything to get to know them and I was so determined in my mission. Just try me!

There was an unthinkable incident that happened to me where I used to play truant when it came to "solat jemaah", for your information, in SERATAS, every "solat" must be pilgrimed. It was compulsory for all students to do so. But, my evil mind said that it was just a waste of time..You see how naughty I was..but, if I knew that this guy will be "imam",automatically, I will be the first person that went to the mosque and stayed in the first row when solat was performed. Trust me, he has a very melodius voice when he called "azan" loudly. During the solat time, my eyes kept aiming at him (the mosque is a double storey building, women on the first level and guys on the ground level, but the first level only half of the building so I can see clearly every guy that performed solat in the ground floor!). The best word to describe me was, I performed solat just simply to keep an eye on him and not particularly performing the solat like I should..see..how terrible I was!! When we met by chance, I will instantaneously snarl at him and if he held something at his hand, I will snatch it and just pass him by like I did nothing wrong! You must be thinking, what was this guy's reaction towards me? Well, he was just too shy to say something and even to stop me from harassing him. That was why, I loved to play the fool with him. Because I knew, he will do nothing to reflect my reaction! He was like "boy next door " to me! hahahhaha..

Time flew so fast, it was time to bid farewell to friends and him. I felt so sad and cannot imagine what I was going to do when we further our studies in Matriculation two in USM Penang, I knew exactly that he will not be at the same class and lecture as mine. So how the hell I can keep staring at him, So for the last day, I gave him something as a souvenir..To let him remember me ( if he wanted to) when we were apart..I think he was glad that we were not in the same lecture.hehhee..The gift that only I knew what was inside the box..Until now, when I think about that, I will keep smiling and thinking, how daring and stupid I was at that time..When we chose different courses for our degrees, (I was in Engineering campus and he stayed at the main campus), a little bird told me that he already has a girlfriend from the same course and in fact this lucky lady become his wife, they got married soon after graduation. I felt so glad for him but at the same time, I felt sorry for myself because he turned me down, even though I never told him directly that I like cum love him.I knew he was the first person that I really admired..and I was into him so much more than everyone can imagine! I believe that, if we are looking for true love we have to make an effort. Never ever stop finding love until you found it.Nevertheless, do remember that it takes two to Tango! So, even though you have been accepted or been turning down, do not give up hope.Keep looking! For me, the eager feeling to others will never be the same as how I was with him..until now, I keep thinking about him, well.. sometimes. But, I know that I now have a husband to love. He loves me so much more than I can imagine. So do I. All my life, my heart and myself is only for him. Truthfully, all the "secret admire" things was the naughty behaviour that I experienced like others, when I hit puberty and now, it is only a sweet memory in my adolescent hood that I have already left behind...

food disaster

I searched for the "kuih sagu" recipe after chatting with Zek about today's menu. What I want to highlight in this entry is not about the menu that I chose, but it is about the incident when I prepared the "kuih sagu".

After finishing the internet browsing and finding the best recipe that I could imagine(I got the recipe from one of the well known cooking fotopages and the recipe shown on the web seemed like a piece of cake to try). So, I read the recipe carefully before I bought the main ingredient which was tapioca. After going to the Champion supermarket and buying tapioca, I cannot help myself from starting to cook. The first step of the recipe said that I needed to boil one cup of sugar with two cups of water. So, I took the standard cup as my guideline and started measuring the ingredients above. I needed to stir well until the sugar is dissolved. Drop in some colour, so Ok then. Done!..Eventually, I needed to put the tapioca into the hot sugar syrup and keep stirring until the tapioca is well cooked.

So I followed the instruction, unfortunately, the tapioca seemed too thicken in a short time and the worst was, it was still not cooked. I kept adding water when I stirred the tapioca until...crap! my tapioca turned a bit too watery and I think that was enough! No more water. I just stirred it thoroughly until it cooked. After putting an effort for almost an hour, so that should be good, I guess!(eventhough, the tapioca still not well cooked). I almost wanted to chuck them into the bin, but such a shame to waste the food though! I poured it into the mould and had my fingers crossed! I was full of hope that my kuih will set.

After two hours resting in a room temperature, it was time to cut them into small pieces. Unfortunately, the kuih turned out a bit watery and flaccid. Well, that is why, sometimes recipe from the internet is a disaster. This is the pics of my "kuih sagu". It should be square instead of round. So anybody has the experience in "kuih sagu" making? If yes, please come out with your recipe for me to follow....

The first day of breaking fast!

Our first day of fasting was ok, even though we had to refrain ourselves from eating and drinking for almost 16 hours. Since I had ample time to myself today, I ended up cooking five dishes including desserts. For today's menu, I cooked "ayam masak pandan", "ayam padang indonesia", pan-fried veggies, caramel pudding and chicken pau. For my first attempt of "ayam masak pandan" and "ayam masak padang", both of them turned out good. I think it was worth a thousand smiles on my face, since I started to roll my sleeves at 3 PM in the evening to marinate the chicken beforehand. It took almost three hours to make the flavour of the spices blend well and followed by wrapping them neatly with screwpine leaves and finishing them off with toothpicks before deep frying them.


Actually, I was having a nervous breakdown when I made today's dishes. Somehow, I had to make sure it turned out good and I cannot bear any mistakes in today's cooking since our stomachs were rumbling like hell and I was in crucial time when I glanced at the clock and it showed, 7pm. another one and half hour to go before breaking fast! You see, I was not too keen on cooking when I was in Malaysia, but since I got married and live in a foreign country, cooking seems like a new addiction to me. I will try everything that I am craving for. I used to throw all the foods that I made if the results were terrible and I will hide the foods in the bottom of the dustbin so that Am will never know that I wasted my so-called "dissappointing" foods. But Am has this habit of checking through the dustbin to ensure that nothing was being chucked out in the bin, and he does this almost everyday in our early stage of marriage and I dare say until now!

For the beverages we just made watermelon drinks and coffee. Actually, I am dying for coconut drink, but where the hell I can get that. Oh God! I can see myself indulging a jar of cold coconut drink on a hot summer day. Oh dear! I wish I can curse anything in this house into coconut, so that I can chop them up and dive in! You guys want to know what I have been up to since breaking fast? Well, I keep thinking what tomorrow's menu is going to be and I am pretty sure I will still be thinking about that until I drift off to sleep tonight. There is another 29 days to go before the Ramadan ends and I will take this opportunity to sharpen on my cooking skills and who knows? Maybe, I will end up opening my own restaurant which will be the new empire in my life! Ciao!