Bleeding

Last night I talked about my baby non stop to Am. I was imagined this and that for our little one until I fell asleep. In the middle of the night, I woke up to wee thus, straightaway I headed off to the toilet. When I want to flush the toilet I realized something was not right. The toilet bowl's water was reddish and pinkish. I thought, am I bleeding? When I used the toilet paper it appeared that there was a blood stain on it. Adrenaline hormone kept pumping into my heart and I was so scared..Very scared indeed!

-Panick struck-

Quickly, I stepped out from the toilet and told Am what had happened. In his sleepiness he said, ''just go to sleep..nothing to be afraid of''...So hesitantly, I laid in the bed sleepless until dawn. I was resting until ten am and then I decided to go to the toilet again to check the bleeding. When I stood up, suddenly..plup..plup..It was bleeding again. For twice. It seemed like the first day of the heavy flow of the period. Just the difference was, it was a light flow instead..But still..it was bleeding moreover in the second trimester of the pregnancy it is not something to be neglected.

The urged feeling to go to the hospital rushed into me. I said to Am to get ready because I need to go to the emergency department to have the detail checked about this. Oh before that, I was calling Kak Na and Dr. Ashraf to ask about my condition. They said, it much better to go to the hospital to get the proper checked.

Arrival-We arrived at the hospital at 12.30 PM. After registration, we had to wait and suddenly the nurse called up my name. We went to the consultation room and she asked me in details about the bleeding. After satisfying with my elaboration she asked us to wait outside. The gynecologist was on the way..On called beb because of me..hehehhee

After waiting for 30 minutes the Gynecologist had arrived and she asked to come to the check up room. She asked me to take off my trouser and panty. She performed Vaginal checked. It occurred the blood was sticking on the glove that she used to check in my vaginal. She pressed my abdomen-to be exact at my stomach and asked whether it painful or not. I said it painless. She applied the cold gel on my tummy and started to scan. After a while, she found the baby heart's beat and the baby is fine...She/ he is in a good nick..live and in a good shape..Alhamdulillah..I am so thankful to Allah to save my baby. I kept praying since the last night in hope everything went very well. Alhamdulillah, Allah granted my dua'. In fact, I could not praise thankful enough to the Almighty to save my baby.. After all the procedure of the test completed, I asked the gynecologist what was the causes of the bleeding? She said she did not know exactly why it happen, but the scan result showed a low lying placenta in my womb. Well, she said I need a bed rest and she prescribed some medicine.

We went home with relieved feeling But still, I need to take extra care of myself. Oh, for the first time, I went to the hospital without feeling afraid of any tests that the doctor could do on me. And for the first time ever, I felt like I could take whatever 'things' happened to me BUT not my tiny little baby...I guess the motherhood feelings and love have been 'invented' in me since the past four months...I love you my baby and please..please..stay still in my womb until you meet 'the creature' a day before he sends you to this world. You need to go through the dialogue in the heaven with him. He will tell you that your angle is waiting for you patiently with full hearted and love to offer.. and the best thing is, she will keep waiting for you until your time has come to be sent to this small world to meet me..Your mummy..Again melancholic attack..sigh!!!

soalan yang sama..

setiap hari satu soklan yang pasti aku tanyakan pada am, 'you sayang I tak?'..hari2 soklan ni aku tnyakan rasanya dlm 10 kali kot...and everytime aku tanya, jawapan am mesti 'sayang'. Tapi soklan aku tak abis sampai situ je..ada lg sambungan mcm drama bersiri Eastender lak..yang takde penghujung..soklan susulan aku ialah, 'u sayang I byk mana?' sah 2 lah jenuh si am nak jawab..tapi dengan pasrahnya dia jawab..'banyak'...aku tanya lagi..'ye la byk mana?'..hehehe..dia akan jawab sambil tunjuk sukatan kat jari dia..'byk ni,katanya'..alahai keciknya sejengkal je..tapi tu la katanya...kasih sejengkal tapi sanggup diduga lautan dalam demi kasih itu...terkesima aku..hehehe tapi yang pasti soklan ini akan aku tanyakan pada am hari2..sampai aku muntah aku rasa..takpala..sape lagi nak sayang aku lebih2 kalau bukan am..hehehhee..nasib badanla dapat bini byk songeh...

soldes is everywhere..and holiday trip...

Since the last two weeks the soldes has started in Liege. It will last for the whole month. Soldes is the word from French language. That mean price reduction sale. The best thing about soldes is, you have a plenty of time to buy things and you can wait up to the last week of the sale to get the real cutting prices items. I normally buy my wanted items in the week three or four of the soldes time to get the real bargain. I do not want to spend a fortune just to buy the branded items for ourselves. Perhaps because we live based on allowances..so better to spend economically, plus our tiny little one is on the way. The best bargain of all is, when I can buy them less than ten euro..or maybe less....see, that is why I love soldes so much. But bear in mind, if you wait until last minute it quite hard to find something in your size. Especially if you are in size ten to 12...but still, nothing to loose k..all the items are cheap to bits!

Forget about the sale. Let's talk about holiday. I have already booked a return tickets and accommodation for our next holiday. This time we will off to the Gladiator city. hehehhe.Our initial plan was, going on holiday in April. But due to the travel cost prices are more expensive in April, so we chose March instead for the holiday. I do not mind at all....as long as we are going on holiday. Anytime will do for me..Really do indeed! The trip will be five days and four night. It more than enough. I guess so. Rome, Italy..here we come...

Dialog antara bayi dengan tuhan sebelum dilahirkan ke dunia...

Suatu ketika seorang bayi siap untuk dilahirkan ke dunia. Menjelang diturunkan dia
bertanya kepada Tuhan,

"Para malaikat disini mengatakan bahwa besok Engkau
akan mengirimku ke dunia, tetapi bagaimana cara saya hidup di sana, saya begitu
kecil dan lemah," kata si bayi.

Tuhan menjawab,
"Aku telah memilih satu malaikat untukmu, ia akan menjaga dan
mengasihimu."

"Tapi di surga, apa yang saya lakukan hanyalah bernyanyi dan tertawa, ini cukup bagi saya untuk bahagia."
Demikian kata si bayi.

Tuhan pun menjawab, "Malaikatmu akan bernyanyi dan
tersenyum untukmu setiap hari, dan kamu akan merasakan kehangatan cintanya dan
jadi lebih berbahagia.

Si bayi pun bertanya lagi, "Dan bagaimana saya bisa mengerti saat orang-orang
berbicara jika saya tidak mengerti bahasa mereka?".

Lagi-lagi Tuhan menjawab,
"Malaikatmu akan berbicara kepadamu dengan bahasa yang paling
indah yang pernah kamu dengar, dan dengan penuh kesabaran dan perhatian dia
akan mengajarkan bagaimana cara kamu berbicara."

Si bayi pun bertanya kembali, "Dan apa yang dapat saya lakukan saat saya ingin
berbicara kepada-Mu?"

Sekali lagi Tuhan menjawab, "Malaikatmu akan
mengajarkan bagaimana cara kamu berdoa."

Si bayi pun masih belum puas, ia pun bertanya lagi, "Saya mendengar bahawa di
bumi banyak orang jahat, siapa yang akan melindungi saya?"

Dengan penuh kesabaran Tuhan pun menjawab, "Malaikatmu akan melindungimu, dengan taruhan jiwanya sekalipun."

Si bayi pun tetap belum puas dan melanjutkan pertanyaannya, "Tapi saya akan
bersedih karena tidak melihat Engkau lagi.

"Dan Tuhanpun menjawab,
"Malaikatmu akan menceritakan Kepadamu tentang Aku, dan akan mengajarkan
bagaimana agar kamu bisa kembali kepada-Ku, walaupun sesungguhnya Aku selalu
berada di sisimu."

Saat itu surga begitu tenangnya, sehingga suara dari bumi dapat terdengar dan sang
anak dengan suara lirih bertanya, "Tuhan, jika saya harus pergi sekarang,
bisakah Engkau memberitahu siapa nama malaikat di rumahku nanti?"

Tuhan pun menjawab, "Kamu dapat memanggil malaikatmu…IBU …"

Betapa insaf bila membaca dialog antara si bayi dengan tuhan. Betapa besar tanggungjawab ibu dalam mendidik anak-anak. Besar juga tanggungjawab anak-anak dalam menghormati dan menyayangi ibunya..

Semoga kita semua akan sabar dengan kerenah anak-anak dalam membesarkan mereka. ...amin..

the time when the friendship is become more precious in life..

Since having the nausea feeling, I am fussy in choosing the right food to keep me in a good shape. I was craving for the foods that hard to get and cook for untrained chef likes Am.

This time was the worst ever until a few friends of mine were offering to cook what I craved for! Thanks to Kak Na, Natrah, Nurul Brussels, Kak Nurul to entertain me very well in my needy time. A friend in need is a friend indeed. That is the right proverb to describe my new friends in Belgium.

I know sometimes hormones take control in my daily life. I can be in a good and bad mood in no time. There is no point to find out the causes of the action. The answers is the hormone. Well, I am not too bad since I can balance myself up-to-now.

Sometimes in friendship, it not the daily contact can make me alive and to spark the friendship feelings. Sometimes the simple 'how-are-you?' message is the most important things to wish every once in a while. Do not send me the forwarded email because without hesitantly I will send it to the spam mail. And I guess you will regret it forever to send me those email. The lengthy email is not what I ask for though. Only a few word to ask how is your friend doing is the best to keep in touch. I do not accept the long distance makes the friendship vanish in the thin air, plus do not use the term 'out of sight, out of mind' but the best term to use is absence makes the heart beats pounder. That is the meaning of the true friendship is for me! But I know it takes two to Tango..so no point for me to 'take care' of it if the others party do not!

Well, that is life...I accept all the ups and downs with full hearted.

first time scan

yesterday I went for regular antenatal check up. What a shock news to know I have a problem with thyroid. Depends on the midwife, the blood test shows my thyroid level is low. She insisted and made an urgent appointment with the endocrine specialist doctor to treat the thyroid. The appointment was today at am just the same day with the date of my first scan.

After meeting the specialist, he said I need to take 50mg hormone pills for a certain time. After six weeks I need to go for the blood test again to check the thyroid level. He said if the thyroid is too low it will harm my unborn child. Like abnormal brain development and bla2...It too important to take an early prevention and precaution.

After 30 minutes of the consultation, we went to take white blanket photo at the hospital surroundings. The view was so beautiful with white snow everywhere..When the clock showed 11 am we went to the scan room and what a massive shocked to see my baby for the first time. I was so happy and the feelings are undescribable. The steno needed to perform tummy and vaginal scanned to see the baby clearly. We were allowed to hear the baby heartbeat. Subhanallah...I am so thankful for the chances of mum to be that Allah gives for me..very glad indeed. They gave me new due date which is 25th July 2008..A week later from the expected date that the midwife gave me..I hope everything goes very well in the future..aminnnnnn

The journey in first time of second trimester

My pregnancy now is in week 13. That is mean I have entered the second trimester of the pregnancy period. I am so glad because as far as I concern, the chances of misscarriage is getting drop significantly, plus this is the time to enjoy the pregnancy moment to the fullest. I am so glad and thanks God for this miracle.

Today was the first time I started shopping for pregnancy clothes. I bought 1 pair of top. I am still looking for the best jeans to fit my small bump. Even though it is small but it is very hard to fit in my normal jeans. I have to unbutton my favourite jeans everytime I wear it. So, it is not good, isn't?

I think my morning sickness is getting ease day by day. I do hope I can cook soon as I longgggggg for my favourite food. Am masak tak sedapla..hehehhe