Going on holiday

We are going on holiday this coming thursday. We will off to Strasbourg and Colmar, France. Basel and Zurich Switzerland and Metz in Germany. Will come back on 21st December with loads of photos...

Haris talks

My mum is in the middle of making my first scrapbook as a keepsake. So, everytime she goes to the art and craft shop she will get crazy and she can be in the shop for ages. She bought a plenty of scrapbooking stuffs. Papa can't even say a word or otherwise, my mum will pull her face as a sign of 'protest'. Hmm...Whatever la mama as long as mama loves me..That is the most important thing after all. Ok here are some photos that my mum took for her art stuffs..Enjoice..








Opss..one more thing, nowadays, people keep saying I inherit most of my papa features instead of my mum. Hmm..when I was born I thought I look alike my mum, but I was wrong..Ok look at these pics..What say you?




Ok enough of my rambling, this is the photo that was taken during my splash time..Am I cute? Look at the magis ducks. Both of the ducks can change colour when I put in the water.



Last but not least, Haris wants to say..mama, I love u so much..unconditional love between us is crystal clear in this pic..




p.s- My darling baby, please reach my hand when you need me now and forever.Always be mama's best friend even though when you are growing up and you have somebody that you loved. Always hold my hands when mama gets older and mama is hoping that your hand will carry my body when I shut my eyes and leave this world forever..Hmm..when the time comes, you must remember what mama has said to you sayang...

Toothless smiles

Waddling and tip toeing into my bedroom to check my baby is my routine activities. Right on cue, I could see a pair of bright eyes were looking sharply on my face. Hmmm, 'I thought you are still sleeping, darling..'. He kept beaming wide toothlessly like asking me to play with him. Seriously, the way he laid his eyes on me make me feel overwhelming. The feeling is keep flowing endlessly. I ain't a perfect mum for you, sayang but I will try my best to be perfect just for you.

There he goes, keep smiling and smiling and I cannot thankful enough to Allah for giving me a chance to be a mum...

Haris new gear

Papa bought this swing last friday as a gift after Haris fourth and fifth jabs to cheer this little one's mood. He was moody since wednesday and this swing is really a gud soother..Thanks Papa.

Rolling on his tummy

Haris first time rolls on his tummy..I know it late for the baby at his age but mama is proud of u darling..

First taste..

Day two of weaning for Haris..Carrots purree is the menu..

Plastic

I worked as an Engineer with 3k++ monthly income for the past few years. It was not bad at all since I was considered as a junior level. Unfortunately, I still felt lonely so it ended up in me went shopping. Thanks to the addiction because I was in debt with my credit cards for a few years. Everytime I feel stress I will lead myself to shopping mall and usually I would buy something that completely unnecessary.

I kept thinking to pay my debt when I got bonus or raya angpau, but I failed to do so. When I have, should I say plenty of money I will lost my sanity.

So for the past few months, I was determined to settle my debts. There is no use to pay a small amount for the credit card since the balance will keep soaring high.

Taking my deep breath for a few seconds, then I said to my husband in a polite way.

'Could you please pay my credit card debt in advance and deduct it from my monthly allowance that you give me?'.

He looked at me for a while and said,

'R u serious? U can deal without shopping for a month?'

and I said,

'Yes, I am dead serious. I hate to keep paying a minimal amount of the plastic.'

So right on the spot, he logged in to his account in Malaysia and did the transaction of paying all the credit card. Thanks God for my early awareness. And my husband gave me his two cents advice, which is ' The key of money management is to stop and think before you impulsively buy.'

I learned my lesson in a fine way. Thanks hubby for that and now I am a debt free. Well, to be exact since the last Sseptember. I feel glad and trust me, I feel rich when I paid all my debts even though I have zero cent in my purse...heeeehee.

So no more credit card for me..astalavista.

Every cloud has a silver lining

As the morning sunlight shone all over my face, I was forced awake by my little one. He kept grunting loudly, or should I say out of his healthy lungs forcing me to bring him outside. That is an everyday routine for me. If I ignored his request he will make various sounds that ended up in me feeling pity for him because of not entertaining his demands.

I took my pregnancy pause.

Trying to be patient with him. Sometimes when you feel sleepy , it is just much easier to blast like a bomb. Maybe not to the baby but the father, the chances are always there. Nevertheless, the purest smile of my little one made my heart melted.




Oh Gosh! How I love this little creature so damn much..Who can say no to this cute face?



For the past few days, I was so depressed with my never ending problems and shall I call my friendship life crisis. The unpleasant situation was driving me mad and I almost lost my sanity, luckily I have some people who are always there when I need them. Truthfully, I was about to giving up on everything until today.

Before that,

I thought today would be the same and cliche day for me, but I was wrong. It all started when I received an email from a friend of mine saying that she is getting married this coming Valentine's day. I can feel a zing of excitement when I heard the news. At last, she found Mr. Right to guide her through and I do hope it lasts for the whole life. InsyaAllah.

Suddenly...

The memories between us flashed vividly in my half occupied with the baby's demands mind. I miss the time where we would talk loudly as if we were deaf. We laughed like bananas eventhough the things were not so funny. Sleeping over in the same bed while chatting about how handsome that fella was. Gossipping about our old memories back in USM, and many more. I just miss all those moments. Indeed!

The best news came when my husband told me his Mphil convocation will take place this coming 17th December. How I wish the baby's passport will be ready before that time so that we can attend the ceremony. Celebrating his achievement after being in some difficulties for quite sometimes. So, December perhaps will be the day we return back to Manchester, even though it just for a while but I do cherish the chances to go there since I miss Manchester so much especially Arndale, the shopping mall. So lame! typical me I guess...

Until then, I will keep beaming wide and realize that every cloud has a silver lining..

Unconditional love

A not so little person is lying soundly in his cot after waking up a few times. The one who was in me for about 40 weeks. The one I used to carry everywhere and surrender my cowardice just to make sure his wellbeing in my tummy. The one who has grown since the past three and half months in this world.

Every night when I accompany him during bedtime, I will feed him until he has a full stomach so that he can sleep through longer stretch of hours. After that, I will scoop him up and brace him in my arms and shush him while singing lullabies until he falls asleep. The overwhelming feeling just rushes into me. I keep staring at his face and continuously talking to him in an audible voice, saying how much I love him. I swear and promise to do anything and guide him in his entire life.

But,

Sometimes, scary thoughts keep flashing in my mind about how I might screw something as perfect as this.

Now and then in the middle and end of the night, I look forward to waking up to feed him. It feels weird when he just sleeps through until pst his feeding time. I can't bear to leave him hungry in his sleep. I think that is what called, mother's instinct . So far, Haris is a happy baby. He has not given me a hard time. He has not cried a lot but he just grunts when he needs something, unless I ignore him totally for a while. So when it did happen, he will cry out loud to show his rebellion.

But, it is all worth it. I now can't live without him. my flesh and blood..Haris

Talking about life

The journey of life has started in womb. But the real life that really counts is when we were born to this, let's say a challenging world. Sometimes life is so hard and unfair to us even though we are doing the right things. Sometimes life is so easy when you are not realizing you are walking towards the solutions. Sometimes life is so mean, no matter how smart you are when dealing with everything. Sometimes life is full with vibrant colours and suddenly it turns bleak and dark at the end. sometimes life is full of joys and sadness or otherwise. Life, full of everything and it likes a wheel. Sometimes we are on the top and the next time we are at the bottom. But all of all, that is what we called life. Full of ups and downs and whatever happen, life must goes on..

Perhaps..

Perhaps, I will go offline for this blog and just write my entry in the 'note' in facebook..If I do not update my entry for quite sometimes, it means I will be in FB..

How to get them hooked on books

I read an article from one parenting magazine that I love sharing them with others. The article is about how to get our kids hooked on book depend on their age. In other words, to raise a child to love reading.

1. Babies

Make reading enjoyable by cuddling on the couch or lying on a pile of pillows for storytime. Choose for book with lots of basic images and colours.

2. Toddlers

Choose picture books with the theme that your child likes. Do not limit book for the bedtime only but make it as an integral part of the entire day.

3. Preschoolers

Look for rhming books. And discuss what is going on about the story. Consider a series so your child will grow attached to familiar characters.

4. School Age Kids

Even the kids learn the skils but continue to read with and to them. Let them pick the favourite titles of the book but expose them to various genres and talk to them what the reading is all about.

That's all, oh btw in the evening when I went shopping, accidently I met 2 Malaysian from Astro that came for meeting. It such a gud things to meet them. Well,it is pretty weird to meet Malaysian in this town. We changed contact info just in case they will come again in the future. Who knows. At least, dinner or lunch treat at our home sweet home would be lovely otherwise kebab will be the other option for visitors in Liege.

Second Vaccination

Very early in the morning we off to Haris consultation for his third jabs and second intake for rota virus medicine. The appointment was at 9.20 am. We were very lucky to get an appointment in the morning and it just the icing on the brioche when we just needed to wait for five minutes before meeting the Pediatrician.

The first she did was check Haris condition thoroughly. The reflection, the communication between the baby and people etc. She said, Haris is a happy baby when he always smile and laugh everytime she meets Haris. She asked what have I done to create the comfortable environment between Haris and the strangers? I said, I always talk to him, read him a book and sing a nursery rhymes. These type of the activities are must everyday without fail in the morning and evening. She said, no wonder Haris seems to reflect to the surroundings very well. Hmm, I do not know la..but I am pretty happy to hear all those feedbacks from the Paed.

After checking Haris, she gave the rotavirus medicine orally and soon after that, she asked to hold Haris tightly at both hands before giving the jab. Actually she did the job pretty well compare to the Paed during Haris first jabs. She did it in just a couple of seconds and suddenly it's done. Just in the blink of eyes. Everything went so fast. Haris just cried shortly after the jab and that's all. I hope for the next month we will get a chance to meet the same Paed as today because next month Haris will get 2 jabs at once before he can put on rest for the injection. The next injection after the four months age will be when he turns 1 year old.

Today Haris age is, 97 days..So fast eh?

Taking the first step

After being 'meroyan' of wanting a DSLR, at last I got it on last Saturday. A night before he bought me the camera, he did ask me about the current account balance, I mean how much it left before the end of this month. So, I said the balance is bla bla bla. Thus, out of the blue, he said 'ok, it is enough'. I said of course it more than enough since only a few days left before entering November.

I thought he was talking about money to buy groceries or whatsoever. Of course saving account is for emergency only. The money we allocate in current account is for our monthly spending. So at least, we manage to save some.

So very early in the morning on saturday before going to house warming party, Am asked to stop by at Mediamark (Is a shop like Argos in the UK ). I said, 'ok, but what do u want to buy?' and he said, 'a thing that u wanted most in ur present life'..

I could feel my blood drain to my head..'oh my God, you are talking about dslr, rite?' and he said 'yup'..

I was jumping up like a monkey. Of course, I always ask him to buy me a dslr. In fact I am not into a netbook, a gold, a diamond or whatever la..Just give me a damn camera and a nice handbag and I would be happy. Only handbag and camera are my interest.

So here are the pics of my first trial of using my new camera. Will learn more about the method of using a dslr..Hope I can master it soon..Photos are the things that we can look back in the future and reminisce all of the sweet memories in life. So it such so sad if I can't take a proper photos especially the pics of my son.

Why is breastfeeding is such a taboo?

We know breast milk is the best for our baby. But sometimes breastfeeding in public will make you feel disapprove. I do not talk about showing your breast like this while feeding..

What I meant is like this

Can you differentiate those two photos? Yes, the acceptable photo is totally cover your breast.

I am having the same difficulties as well especially when using a public transport. As I always mention, Haris hates bottle so much. It does not matter if I pumped my milk into the bottle or formula milk. He will rejects it without having a second thought. So, I have not got any choices. When he is crying out loud asking for milk, I need to feed him. Everytime we ride a train I will try to sit at a secluded seat so it much easier to feed him. But, can you imagine when all those seats are taken and to make it worst, I have to sit facing a stranger. I mean a man. What should I do?

So, I will leave the seat and tried to find a suitable place to breastfeed him. It's hard and I often find myself retreating to sit on a dirty floor nearby the train's staircase or the toilet. Huish..

I try to make the feeding time more friendly by wearing a nursing bra and top. I put a blanket on my shoulder to cover let say 'inappropriate range of vission'and I do use a poncho sometimes and it much easier. It acts like nursing cover.



Even though I take all the necessary action while feeding, the feeling of disapprove by public does exist and sometimes people make I feel uncomfortable doing so by staring at me, but I am determined to stick at it. As long as my breast is not popped out in public. As we all know breastfeeding need a strong determination and support from your loved one and it far from glamorous but I am proud of myself for giving my son the best start in his life.

I really hope one fine day, 'breastfeeding friendly' will happen in any places. But, until we have change in our culture ( I mean Belgian culture ), and breasfeeding is seen as normal and natural, I will keep feeding my baby even though toilet sit is the last resort as a suitable place.

trish trash trush...

Enough means is that it.Full stop. No additional or tittle tattle regarding the related matter.' No-no ' shout here and there, 'No-no' in trying to make it like everything is right but at the same time we act such a completely cow. But sometimes, people do not think as what we think. Of course the different brain comes out with the different ideas whatsoever. No need to elaborate more or otherwise people will twist what we have said, And sometimes they will keep repeating things when you are completely silent and back off.

So,the wise action is, chuck unnecessary things into the bin. Whatever or you might say less like items @ things @ anything.

After thinking carefully, I do not want to be hypocrite#.

=the definiton of #, is a person who pretends to be what he is not.

Well I tend to think others hypocrite when they do not suit the definition above but at the same time I do not realize I was, am or will be in the same boat as them. I am 100 percent confident if we are human, and we ever feel like pretending, even though just once in a life time. No matter in what aspects, So when the 'pretending' feeling does excist, automatically we are in the definition of hypocrite.

Remember, nobody is perfect, so do I.

So, I am stop pretending as I like this or that things because in my heart I always know I do not like it after all.

The determination is must!
So, I made up my mind without having a second thought.

To get my life back (read=happy and put myself first before others). Thus, undoubtedly, I did that.

Might be after this entry has written, I will talk about crapy thing. Meaningful but not too personal. I meant it wholeheartedly. ( i have to delete the ori version as it might hurt some people feelings)

If you think my writing is going to make your brain 'shut down' you can click at the 'X' button on the top of the right handside of your computer, but if you are happy to read it, you are most welcome..

The day I was born on 13th October..

13th October is my birthday. This year we did not celebrate it since we have a baby that demands our extra attention. Many factors need to be taken into acount before planning everything. In example, we thought about having a candle light dinner outside but how romantic it would be when Haris must sleep at 7.30 pm. If not he will grumpy and cranky. Moreover, with the cold and chill weather, it is not suitable to bring Haris out in the evening.

Am did suggest to have a quite meal instead at home, but it is impossible with less time to cook a special meals, plus he came back from University very late in the evening. So, it ended up he just gave me a bouquet of red roses. The gift is as my previous entry. A netbook.

I thought that is all. Nothing special left. But, I was wrong. Am booked me another session for massage and facial for this coming Saturday. He knows how I love my massage and spa session that much before. Before in this context is, a week after raya. I went there for my first session as a post natal treatment. It was so good and how I wish the session would never end.

In this entry I want to wish thanks for all the well wishes at my facebook. It really made my day. I was so sad back then on my birthday when I found a small lump at my left breast. I thought I have cancer. I kept thinking and could not shut my eyes. I kept staring at my baby with teary eyes. It so heart wrenching to think he will lost his mum at a very young age. How moron I was at that time. I just about to spell out my will to Am. To take care of Haris and do not get married if Haris still young. Yes, I know I exaggerate thing over here. Hehehe.

So I called my friend Laurence to book me an appointment with my Gynae. A day before making an appointment, I talked to my friend. She said, it is normal and it just a swollen breast nodule or perhaps breast milk nodule. I do not know the right name of it but it did swollen like a big lump. What I need to do is, put something warm on it. So, I did try and it worked amazingly!

So I was glad to know it was not breast cancer after all. Hahahaa..It so tired to kept thinking about illness and the consequences for your loved one.

Nevertheless, I will always put an extra attention about breast care. Even though it does not run in my family gene but it does not give any harms to be taken care of.

He's big now...

Semakin bolat and dah pandai pegang benda..pandai merajuk kalau tak ditegur, menangis bila terkuat suara and pandai melonjak ke atas dan kiri n kanan kalau tido, nursery rhymes wajib klau tido n mandi..n lagu mesti yg dia suka je,,kalau tak akn merengek sampai on kan lagu favouritenya..ops .dengan kata lain tak leh biar tanpa jagaan..bahaya..

Haris nya jadual tido napping 11 to 12 tgh,,,2 to 5 pm and bed time 7.30 pm until 8 am esok harinya..mcm jam bilogi..time tido je wajib tido klau tak ek ek ek

Wake up call, perhaps!

I always niggle until I have forgotten what is must to give a priority. It likes a wake up call for me though. The story is like this..

Yesterday on the way to Brussels, without realising Am was studying and staring at my face. Then out of the blue,

he said ,' you are ageing'..

In a shocked voice, I answered...Haaa? What? Then I asked him, ' Why?'

and he said 'well, maybe without your make up on.'

Hmm, I know he tries to mend his words but it was late okay. I took his comment personally and I said, I will more careful on my appearance. Make up and beautiful cloths are must after this. But, Am was adding something.

'It not just a cloth n make up that can make woman looks beautiful you know, the ideal body weight is the main factor of all.'

Wah,,,laki ku..mula mengomen..akan ku buktikan I cannnnnnn!

Pre giving birthday gift

Ok Aret as I promised. The netbook that I bought last two days. Actually it is my birthday or maybe pre gift for this year birthday..Ok la kan. Senang nak bawak travel and nak surfing..kalau guna biasa2 kat umah aku stil setia dengan laptop aku yg 17 inches tu..And aku harap, 13hb ni kalau ada rezeki aku dapat la gift lg satu..

the brand is Compaq by Hp.
size screen 10 inches.

The moment I was in tears

Weaving a cold weather was the thing that we did in the early morning for Haris consultation. The appointment was at 9.30am. On the way to the consultation place, I had a mix feelings about Haris first jab. Thinking about he was going to get two jabs made me felt sorrow. I know it is for his own sake. The wellbeing of my baby.

After arriving at the place we had to wait for ten minutes. When the nurse called Haris's name, my heart was pumping quickly. The adrenaline kept rushing into my body. Am kept saying,' do not worry, it is nothing to worry about'. Ok and there we off to the Paed's room.

In the room, the Paed gave an overall examination on him. Everything went very well. Haris put on another grams of weight. Now his weight is 4.93kg. His length is 56cm. His weight and height are within the good range of other babies at his age. Then the Paed told me in a well spoken that it was the time for his jabs. He asked me to hold Haris's legs tightly and Am needed to hold Haris's arms still. In count of three the Paed shot the first injection. When the needle went trough his body he cried out loud until he lost his small voice for a while. I kept shushing him to sooth him down but after a few seconds, the Paed asked to inject the other leg for his second jabs. That was mean Haris got one injection at each tight. Poor baby. Mama is sorry for you dear.

The funny thing was, when the Paed did his job, I had a teary eyes and I did not dare to take a look. I turned my face at the opposite side of Haris's face. Am was dare enough to take a look but I could see his sorry face when his son got the jabs.

After finished, we went home and bought some medicine that was prescribed by the doctor just if Haris runs a temperature. Fingers crossed! But I hope not. A moment when I saw Haris in pain, I was feeling the pain twice than him. It was unbearable compared to the pain I had when I was in labor and gave birth to him. Seriously, If I could replace himself to get the injection, I will do it undoubtedly. Motherhood experiences are so priceless.

Now, I agree the whole heartedly with one of my friends, she says..
" No matter how tough a mum is, when it involves with our kids we will rise a white flag. Surrender with our tear".

Salam Aidilfitri 20092009

Salam Aidilfitri dan maaf zahir batin dari kami sekeluarga..