trish trash trush...

Enough means is that it.Full stop. No additional or tittle tattle regarding the related matter.' No-no ' shout here and there, 'No-no' in trying to make it like everything is right but at the same time we act such a completely cow. But sometimes, people do not think as what we think. Of course the different brain comes out with the different ideas whatsoever. No need to elaborate more or otherwise people will twist what we have said, And sometimes they will keep repeating things when you are completely silent and back off.

So,the wise action is, chuck unnecessary things into the bin. Whatever or you might say less like items @ things @ anything.

After thinking carefully, I do not want to be hypocrite#.

=the definiton of #, is a person who pretends to be what he is not.

Well I tend to think others hypocrite when they do not suit the definition above but at the same time I do not realize I was, am or will be in the same boat as them. I am 100 percent confident if we are human, and we ever feel like pretending, even though just once in a life time. No matter in what aspects, So when the 'pretending' feeling does excist, automatically we are in the definition of hypocrite.

Remember, nobody is perfect, so do I.

So, I am stop pretending as I like this or that things because in my heart I always know I do not like it after all.

The determination is must!
So, I made up my mind without having a second thought.

To get my life back (read=happy and put myself first before others). Thus, undoubtedly, I did that.

Might be after this entry has written, I will talk about crapy thing. Meaningful but not too personal. I meant it wholeheartedly. ( i have to delete the ori version as it might hurt some people feelings)

If you think my writing is going to make your brain 'shut down' you can click at the 'X' button on the top of the right handside of your computer, but if you are happy to read it, you are most welcome..

The day I was born on 13th October..

13th October is my birthday. This year we did not celebrate it since we have a baby that demands our extra attention. Many factors need to be taken into acount before planning everything. In example, we thought about having a candle light dinner outside but how romantic it would be when Haris must sleep at 7.30 pm. If not he will grumpy and cranky. Moreover, with the cold and chill weather, it is not suitable to bring Haris out in the evening.

Am did suggest to have a quite meal instead at home, but it is impossible with less time to cook a special meals, plus he came back from University very late in the evening. So, it ended up he just gave me a bouquet of red roses. The gift is as my previous entry. A netbook.

I thought that is all. Nothing special left. But, I was wrong. Am booked me another session for massage and facial for this coming Saturday. He knows how I love my massage and spa session that much before. Before in this context is, a week after raya. I went there for my first session as a post natal treatment. It was so good and how I wish the session would never end.

In this entry I want to wish thanks for all the well wishes at my facebook. It really made my day. I was so sad back then on my birthday when I found a small lump at my left breast. I thought I have cancer. I kept thinking and could not shut my eyes. I kept staring at my baby with teary eyes. It so heart wrenching to think he will lost his mum at a very young age. How moron I was at that time. I just about to spell out my will to Am. To take care of Haris and do not get married if Haris still young. Yes, I know I exaggerate thing over here. Hehehe.

So I called my friend Laurence to book me an appointment with my Gynae. A day before making an appointment, I talked to my friend. She said, it is normal and it just a swollen breast nodule or perhaps breast milk nodule. I do not know the right name of it but it did swollen like a big lump. What I need to do is, put something warm on it. So, I did try and it worked amazingly!

So I was glad to know it was not breast cancer after all. Hahahaa..It so tired to kept thinking about illness and the consequences for your loved one.

Nevertheless, I will always put an extra attention about breast care. Even though it does not run in my family gene but it does not give any harms to be taken care of.

He's big now...

Semakin bolat and dah pandai pegang benda..pandai merajuk kalau tak ditegur, menangis bila terkuat suara and pandai melonjak ke atas dan kiri n kanan kalau tido, nursery rhymes wajib klau tido n mandi..n lagu mesti yg dia suka je,,kalau tak akn merengek sampai on kan lagu favouritenya..ops .dengan kata lain tak leh biar tanpa jagaan..bahaya..

Haris nya jadual tido napping 11 to 12 tgh,,,2 to 5 pm and bed time 7.30 pm until 8 am esok harinya..mcm jam bilogi..time tido je wajib tido klau tak ek ek ek

Wake up call, perhaps!

I always niggle until I have forgotten what is must to give a priority. It likes a wake up call for me though. The story is like this..

Yesterday on the way to Brussels, without realising Am was studying and staring at my face. Then out of the blue,

he said ,' you are ageing'..

In a shocked voice, I answered...Haaa? What? Then I asked him, ' Why?'

and he said 'well, maybe without your make up on.'

Hmm, I know he tries to mend his words but it was late okay. I took his comment personally and I said, I will more careful on my appearance. Make up and beautiful cloths are must after this. But, Am was adding something.

'It not just a cloth n make up that can make woman looks beautiful you know, the ideal body weight is the main factor of all.'

Wah,,,laki ku..mula mengomen..akan ku buktikan I cannnnnnn!

Pre giving birthday gift

Ok Aret as I promised. The netbook that I bought last two days. Actually it is my birthday or maybe pre gift for this year birthday..Ok la kan. Senang nak bawak travel and nak surfing..kalau guna biasa2 kat umah aku stil setia dengan laptop aku yg 17 inches tu..And aku harap, 13hb ni kalau ada rezeki aku dapat la gift lg satu..

the brand is Compaq by Hp.
size screen 10 inches.

The moment I was in tears

Weaving a cold weather was the thing that we did in the early morning for Haris consultation. The appointment was at 9.30am. On the way to the consultation place, I had a mix feelings about Haris first jab. Thinking about he was going to get two jabs made me felt sorrow. I know it is for his own sake. The wellbeing of my baby.

After arriving at the place we had to wait for ten minutes. When the nurse called Haris's name, my heart was pumping quickly. The adrenaline kept rushing into my body. Am kept saying,' do not worry, it is nothing to worry about'. Ok and there we off to the Paed's room.

In the room, the Paed gave an overall examination on him. Everything went very well. Haris put on another grams of weight. Now his weight is 4.93kg. His length is 56cm. His weight and height are within the good range of other babies at his age. Then the Paed told me in a well spoken that it was the time for his jabs. He asked me to hold Haris's legs tightly and Am needed to hold Haris's arms still. In count of three the Paed shot the first injection. When the needle went trough his body he cried out loud until he lost his small voice for a while. I kept shushing him to sooth him down but after a few seconds, the Paed asked to inject the other leg for his second jabs. That was mean Haris got one injection at each tight. Poor baby. Mama is sorry for you dear.

The funny thing was, when the Paed did his job, I had a teary eyes and I did not dare to take a look. I turned my face at the opposite side of Haris's face. Am was dare enough to take a look but I could see his sorry face when his son got the jabs.

After finished, we went home and bought some medicine that was prescribed by the doctor just if Haris runs a temperature. Fingers crossed! But I hope not. A moment when I saw Haris in pain, I was feeling the pain twice than him. It was unbearable compared to the pain I had when I was in labor and gave birth to him. Seriously, If I could replace himself to get the injection, I will do it undoubtedly. Motherhood experiences are so priceless.

Now, I agree the whole heartedly with one of my friends, she says..
" No matter how tough a mum is, when it involves with our kids we will rise a white flag. Surrender with our tear".

Salam Aidilfitri 20092009

Salam Aidilfitri dan maaf zahir batin dari kami sekeluarga..