A not so little person is lying soundly in his cot after waking up a few times. The one who was in me for about 40 weeks. The one I used to carry everywhere and surrender my cowardice just to make sure his wellbeing in my tummy. The one who has grown since the past three and half months in this world.
Every night when I accompany him during bedtime, I will feed him until he has a full stomach so that he can sleep through longer stretch of hours. After that, I will scoop him up and brace him in my arms and shush him while singing lullabies until he falls asleep. The overwhelming feeling just rushes into me. I keep staring at his face and continuously talking to him in an audible voice, saying how much I love him. I swear and promise to do anything and guide him in his entire life.
But,
Sometimes, scary thoughts keep flashing in my mind about how I might screw something as perfect as this.
Now and then in the middle and end of the night, I look forward to waking up to feed him. It feels weird when he just sleeps through until pst his feeding time. I can't bear to leave him hungry in his sleep. I think that is what called, mother's instinct . So far, Haris is a happy baby. He has not given me a hard time. He has not cried a lot but he just grunts when he needs something, unless I ignore him totally for a while. So when it did happen, he will cry out loud to show his rebellion.
But, it is all worth it. I now can't live without him. my flesh and blood..Haris
2 comments:
lama tak jumpa baby haris..bila haris nak datang Gent nihhh
touching..=)
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