Life means...

Life is about making a decision. Life is about making choices. Life is NOT about 'me, me , me'...

When HE said ....

Kun fa ya kun...who is us, to deny the fate...

I think..

Absurd, Well not everything is about logical sense. So, nothing is new. Sincerity, I have a huge respect for people who sincere in their jobs because I could not do so in almost everything. Death, I kept thinking about what , when will my turn. What is going to do if tomorrow is my day! Ya Allah, please forgive my sin. Blessing me with your rahmah..amin .. Secured, I used to think, if my husband or I , or perhaps both of us work with the government, our future will secure, but not anymore because whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see. Government or private, both are about the same. There are pros and cons and it just like a coin. The truth is, you cannot choose one side of the coin! Happiness, I get everything that I always want thus it looks like everything is rosy but do not forget, everything in the garden is not rosy. After all, I just a human. Never fully thankful for what I have and always think the grass is always greener on the other side.

It sucks

It sucks when I have to..

1.Online with the lousy notebook because my netbook has a problem with the internet connection.

2. I need a huge effort to make the alphabetical popped on the screen due to the problem on the old keypad.

3. Just if I lost my sanity in the mean time, the smart phone will be mine..Let's see if the hubby can repair my netbook or not, if not will think about this seriously.


I hate to online with this condition.

Chiow!

Links

Dear friends,

could you please drop your blog links in my comments. I have changed the templates yet I lost some of my precious links in my previous templates. After received the comments, I will link it back to my blog. Thank you.

Decluttering

I learnt about organizing clothes based on colors code when I blogged hopping quite sometimes ago. The tips given on that blog by the writer are very good about space saving ideas in organizing clothes but, unfortunately I have forgotten the blog address if not, it is my pleasure to share the link in here.

I started decluttering Haris small cupboard after sick of seeing the limited space in there. Before this, I could fit so many clothes in his petite wardrobe but since he has grown up and the clothes are getting bigger, the space is starting to become one of the major problem in arranging his outfits, accessories, shoes etc. This is the best I can do for the first step after a massive selection of the clothes. The outgrown frocks have been kept in a big sac and I placed it neatly in my storage. The hanging clothes are actually a bit more than this, but due to lack of the hanger only these have been hung.



I think after this, I need to decluttere mine after seeing not- so- neat of clothes organizing in my wardrobe.


They are mixing up in sizes, colors and hangers I think, aren't they?

Older and wiser or otherwise?

Getting older means, less friends, less rest, more stress, more responsibilities. Period!



and the list of less and more are on and on and on..

If you want the truth, ask the kids...

One evening an innocent little girl is spending her evening by accompanying an old nasty lady. Below is the dialogue between them.

The little girl : 'can I read you a story?'
The old lady : 'Do I look like 3 years old?'
the little girl : with innocent look n voice, 'no, but you look like 300 years old..'

The kid's answer is served the lady's right because she looks aging than her real age. The moral of the story is, kids do not understand when you talk in a sarcastic way nor to comprehend a statement that needs to be read between the lines. Understanding the hidden meaning in something said or written is no-no for the kids. One thing for certain, they will answer as frank as they possibly can. If they said, you look ugly in your attires, you better get into the house and change the clothes before the public criticizes your appearance, that is just an example of learning the reality check by using the kids.

Here comes to the point why I write this entry. The incident was like this. I was in the kitchen in the whole afternoon, rolling my sleeves to cook something healthy and special for Haris. After finishing my cooking, I asked him to taste a spoonful of one of the dishes.

Normally, when he eats something he will say, 'sedap' and that means the food is very tasty and yummy but today, when I asked him to verdict the taste of my cooking meals, here was the verdict.

Mama- Haris, how does it taste? sedap?
Haris- silent
Mama- Haris, is it yummy?
Haris- only showed action by shaking his head like 'no, tak sedap'.hehehe

Thus, I tasted the food by my own and my taste buds was said a big NO to the food? The food was so tasteless and bland because I have forgotten to put a pinch of salt in my cooking. Well, cooking without salt is like lacking taste or flavor and tang. No wonder, Haris did not say a word. Now, I know the best way to test my cooking skills is by using Haris as a tester. hehehe.

Eventually

After having been waiting for the one and a half month, at last the hard disc for my netbook has arrived. The hubby spent for the whole evening today, to fix it up and finally, I can online with my beloved netbook again and set aside Haris's laptop. I know Haris is eying the laptop because he is so into the nursery rhymes songs and since I confiscating his computer, he does not have a chance to enjoy the songs.

Till then,

Will be updating my blog frequently after this ..

I lost the plot!

The birdies songs seem to disappear in the cold thin air. The gloomy and not so bright sun shine makes me lost my plot. I have been mourning in this winter blues for quite awhile. I am tired of feeling stress and depress of 'I do not know the actual reason of being so down and tension'. If I have a stress meter, I shall say the reading would be in the highest peak. Oh dear God, please help me!

I loath this situation. Sometimes I feel the world is against me and the friends are foes. What a crazy thought is that?

I keep wanting to write but I just do not know what to write about. There are so many things keep lingering in my blunt mind. Yes, blunt! Blunt in every aspect so saddo of being me!

I hope this blues will go away very very soon because I am damn tired of this. Pity the son and the husband to stuck in the middle of crazy wife and mum...I am so sorry guys for not being a normal me to both of you :-(((

Quick updates

1. My netbook is having a problem. It started with the virus attacked and everytime my hubby tries to install and run anti virus, it ended up I cannot enter windows after on the power and the worst is, not even entering the MS Mode. Currently, Am is tyring to repair it and it almost 50 percent completed.

2. I booked a flight tickets for Easter holidays at the end of April. This time we are heading to Milan and Venice, Italy for five days.

3. I am thinking of enrolling gym. There is a new gym opened just five minutes walk from my flat. The best thing is, the monthly fees is only Euro14.95 and the contract is for a year, how I wish it could be three or six months instead. It is not the fee that I am worrying about, but the commitment is the problem. I just can see me self keep skipping and giving reasons from going to Gym. If this happened, what a shame and such a waste!

4. Will update soon after my netbook is ok.

New year 2011

Welcome year 2011. I hope this year will bring us luck, prosperity, happiness and etc.Happy New year all!!

The 'beauty' lies under the imperfection..

'If you expect perfect, you are not gonna be happy. So, just accept and tolerate with the imperfection.'

How lovely the quote above is. I trully agree with it. In this world, nothing is perfect so how come some people claim they are perfectionist.

Perfection is just like 'beauty'. They are only exist in the eyes of the beholder. Something might be perfect for me but not for others, otherwise!



The pink legging looks good and perfect on my eyes when I pair it with the blue jacket but the combination maybe look ugly and very odd to other people. That is the simple example I can give in the context of toleration with the imperfection. What to do, I only have one snow jacket for Haris and if the legging is orange by any chance, still I will put it on with the same winter jacket.hehhehee.

The conclution is, do not expect perfect or if not we are not gonna be happy in life...

Nauzubillah

Again one of my friend bercerai...sigh! Nauzubillah...

Ya Allah, peliharalah rumahtangga kami dr rintangan yang tak termampu untuk kami hambamu menanggungnya...

Dear foods, I 'loath' you

Loath..

It is not a good idea when you start your entry with loath. I really loath foods. Read-'Loath' in brackets. Everytime I see foods I seem to lost my sanity. I am having a habit of munching foods everytime I have nothing to do.

If the selected food is healthy, it is not a big problem then, but I just love snacking cake, biscuits, etc. Sometimes those foods are too salty and sometimes they are too sweet. It is not like I am developing a sweet tooth or whatsoever. It just a bad habit. A very bad habit!

Who can say no to this triffle!




and this 'laksa'



Damn!

No wonder if I have gained a few kilos back then and until now, I have 2 kilos to get rid off before reaching my ideal weight. However, I rarely take a sweet drink. I heart plain water very much. I can get my hands on a glass of water in the middle of the night or very early in the morning after waking up from my night sleep without brushing my teeth in advance.

Oh, and tonight I just realized I like goat cheese. Though I hate the idea of foods based on goat or lamb but the cheese itself just so yummy and creamy.Nyum nyum nyum..

I am wondering now, how much weight I could pile on in this cold weather. I am hoping it is not too much and it will be better if I could shed a few kilos instead...heheee

Oh, I just remember I have cheeseballs from Quick burger in my fridge, keyboard off.

And off I go to finish up my cheeseballs..nyum nyum nyuim...

unspeakable mind and thought

My half occupied mind and heart make me feel uneasy and tired. I am tired to keep thinking of what if, what is, what this and etc. Part of my heart says, maybe it is the time to mend the condition but the rest of it says what is the consequences of this and that.

I do not know. I really do not know. What do I want? Am I doing the right thing here? I do not know..

'Whatever will be, will be..
The future is not ours to see..'

Talking about life

The journey of life has started in womb. But the real life that really counts is when we were born to this, let's say a challenging world. Sometimes life is so hard and unfair to us even though we are doing the right things. Sometimes life is so easy when you are not realizing you are walking towards the solutions. Sometimes life is so mean, no matter how smart you are when dealing with everything. Sometimes life is full with vibrant colours and suddenly it turns bleak and dark at the end. sometimes life is full of joys and sadness or otherwise. Life, full of everything and it likes a wheel. Sometimes we are on the top and the next time we are at the bottom. But all of all, that is what we called life. Full of ups and downs and whatever happen, life must goes on..

Perhaps..

Perhaps, I will go offline for this blog and just write my entry in the 'note' in facebook..If I do not update my entry for quite sometimes, it means I will be in FB..

Taking the first step

After being 'meroyan' of wanting a DSLR, at last I got it on last Saturday. A night before he bought me the camera, he did ask me about the current account balance, I mean how much it left before the end of this month. So, I said the balance is bla bla bla. Thus, out of the blue, he said 'ok, it is enough'. I said of course it more than enough since only a few days left before entering November.

I thought he was talking about money to buy groceries or whatsoever. Of course saving account is for emergency only. The money we allocate in current account is for our monthly spending. So at least, we manage to save some.

So very early in the morning on saturday before going to house warming party, Am asked to stop by at Mediamark (Is a shop like Argos in the UK ). I said, 'ok, but what do u want to buy?' and he said, 'a thing that u wanted most in ur present life'..

I could feel my blood drain to my head..'oh my God, you are talking about dslr, rite?' and he said 'yup'..

I was jumping up like a monkey. Of course, I always ask him to buy me a dslr. In fact I am not into a netbook, a gold, a diamond or whatever la..Just give me a damn camera and a nice handbag and I would be happy. Only handbag and camera are my interest.

So here are the pics of my first trial of using my new camera. Will learn more about the method of using a dslr..Hope I can master it soon..Photos are the things that we can look back in the future and reminisce all of the sweet memories in life. So it such so sad if I can't take a proper photos especially the pics of my son.

Long deep breath entry in the middle of the night..

I thought of having a baby is a straightforward process. From making love to the nine months of pregnancy and ending with giving birth. But, I was totally wrong. For some people they meant to have a smooth sailing pregnancy and birth but not so smooth for me. The challenge has begun when I was in my first trimester. I had a morning sickness for almost five months. I could not help myself from throwing up for more than thrice, everyday. Everything was smelly. I could not stand my own kitchen. Having thought of me standing and cooking in the kitchen can makes me puke. I had to stay all day in the bedroom overlooking the old church with the building nearby. The view is not so nice at all. But, only in my bedroom I can survive from being sick. Everytime I feel like peeing, I need to use the bathroom instead of the toilet. Simply because the toilet is located outside our bedroom. There was once I threw up on the wall when I was running to the bathroom. I could not hold it any longer after smelling 'ikan patin masak pedas' that I brought back from one of our friend house. The problem was, I could eat like normal people when I was at somebody else houses. But not in ours!

Entering the second trimester, did not make so much different. The PUPP symptom has made an attack on my skin especially around my boobs, bump, thighs and arms. It was getting worse day by day until I was scratching all over my body and it bled. All lotion and medicine, that were prescribed by the doctor and dermatologist were useless. At any time, once in a while I cried because of the itchiness was undescribable. But, Alhamdulillah the symptom is getting better and I get my beauty sleep back after sometimes.

The latest problem of my pregnancy is, the gestational diabetes mellitus. This is the top of my imagination among all the difficulties. A coward person likes me, has diabetes and is currently on a sugar-limited diet for some reasons. Pricking my fingers and seeing blood are never ever crossed my mind before. It was a nightmare when I received a letter from my Gynae , mentioning me about the diabetes. Even though this thing is temporarily, but sometimes I almost lost my sane thought when the dusk comes and the sun shines. It makes me fear of the journey of the day ahead and the foregone conclution about pricking my fingers again and again and again. (Thrice in a day and only once in the night). Sometimes, I do hope for an endless night. No more dawn until I give birth. What a ridiculous hope..Yes, I know. So just you know, until this entry has been written, I had already pricked for 30 times and my fingers turn bluish. Applying a cut and bruises oil seems does not help a lot. My soft spot is melting away when Am wihout hanging back offering to prick his fingers instead after seeing the bluish effect and the painfulness. He looks regretabble with my condition. So sweet..hehhehee.Perhaps I should say adieu to the blood test. Hahahaha..Nak mampus ke Nurul?

Now, I get a new symptom which is, leg cramps. It started this morning when I woke up from my night sleep. I cried out for Am and he straightaway came out from the bathroom with a panic face. He asked me what was wrong, and when I told him about my leg, just like a reflect action, he took a bottle of massage oil and applied it on the spot until the cram eased away. I could not thanks him enough for what he had done for all this while. His hearthiness is undoubtedly. If you, my friends can see how panic he was this morning...It priceless..From that moment it makes me realized how much he loves and takes a great care of me as he has sworn during our wedding night.

All these difficulties make me stronger just after thinking of my baby's healthiness. If this what we called love, I am trully flabbergasted with myself. Because I am falling in love towards somebody that I never meet before, alive and kicking healthily inside me. My heartthrobe..I love you with full hearted.