my sunshine

you are my sunshine,
my only sunshine,
you make me happy when skies are grey,
you'll never know dear how much i love you,
please don't take my sunshine away...

Haris is not feeling well since the last two days. He has runny nose and coughing. At his new age (read = not even two months old yet ) it is so heart wrenching and I cannot stop my heart from thumping hard every time I see him like that. One thing about my poor baby is, eventhough his ill, he does not cranky and grumpy so much. He just crying when he asks for milk and when he could not stand the blockage nose anymore. When I hold her tight and keep talking to him about how good he is and the cold will goes away, he seems to understand what I was rambling about. Well, of course he does not but he could calm when he heard my persuade voice on him. Wait, one more thing I love when we are interacting between us is, Haris will look at me puzzledly and out of the blue he will beam at me and the smile he gave me is the purest smile in the world!

Taking care of a baby is really a hard work. I have to concentrate on him and gives him my full time consuming that I could offer. In fact I could not offer more! Whimpering asking for my attention is the best he could do to attract my attention. He is not crying out loud just 'ekk..ekkk..ekk'..Poor baby.

Sometimes when I am pretty busy in the kitchen to cook for break fasting dishes, he will cry and whimper more in hope I could come to place him in my arms. As I said, he is not into his papa so much. I started cooking at 6.30pm because the Iftar time is about 8pm. So this time is the bed time for Haris. To be placed in bed must be done by me. If not he refuses to sleep at all. It really hard to cook and accompany my baby off to bed, and me usually will give priority in cooking. By the time I finished, he is so damn sleepy and cranky. Sigh, sorry baby for did that! Trust me my darling, mama has to have the strength of elephants to do that .

Now, Haris is sleeping (not too soundly though) in his cot. He sleeps by his own since he was born in the cot. I just placed him in my bed after 5 am in the morning after his feeding time. I know he feels safe and cocoons from the world everytime I wrap him up in his fleece blanket. His face so peaceful and I love to watch him sleep. And everytime I do that, my heart is full of love towards him.

When he cries, I feel like crumpling into tears and when he sick, I feel twice time sickie than him..I guess this is what we called, mother's love..It grows in me now and then..InsyaAllah..I know this entry is hardly a big deal for others and no need to make a song and dance about it, but it is for me as a new mum. The one who is trying very hard to adjust herself with motherhood.