Forbidden Love and the aftermath

Some people are destine to have an easy way and effortless in live, love, work and etc . But some people do not. It is what we call 'our part' in life. I came across to one of my so-called an old friend's blog. She was telling in details what she had faced for the past three years just to marry her lover. She has been disowned by her family just because she be a second wife. The fact is , these two 'madu' are closed to each others. They even can live together under the same roof. So the point in this story is, this is not about these two 'madu' but it is about the family disobedience on my friend side.

I know..In Islam, Bigamist is acceptable but I do not think I can accept just if my husband has a second, third or fourth wives. I hope not. I am not pious enough to have the strength in sharing husband with other woman. But do not get me wrong, I am not against bigamist since it is acceptable in our religion. What I want to stress is, I almost agree with my friend decision. To marry this married man. Not by reason she is my friend but because I cannot accept how terrible she has been treated by her own family after their marriage. She said, is it bigamist is dishonorable in Islam? If the answer is no, so it is implausible for her family to against Allah's law. Yes, she is right..I know it is much easier to say.What will happen if I am in the first wife shoes? As I said..law is law but I hope this is the last thing happens in our marriage though!

She keeps trying to ask forgiveness from her parents until her dad last breath. Her siblings altogether blame her on the death of their father. Maybe they have forgotten the Malay proverb 'jodoh, pertemuan, ajal dan maut di tangan tuhan'. If they meant to be each other..nobody can cross question the fact. The foreordain is Allah's arrangement. Her father's death is not because she married to the married man, but he died because his time has come to meet the creature k..Tell me who can avoid the death? IF she does not married to her husband, do you think her dad will still alive? Spare me the answer k!

One thing that makes my eyes burst into tears when I read her blog though... When she wrote in her entry about 'her gave birth story to her daughter'. She had suffered from the labor pain for hours. Everything seemed to be fine for a normal labor but the baby seemed to stay still inside. Her conscience kept telling her, this big ordeal could be ended soon if her mum blesses her. All the doctors and nurses kept telling her to push the baby properly if not they had to proceed for the C-section. This poor girl, was telling the nurse that she needed to call her mum to ask forgiveness. It is Allah punishments to her and she kept appealing to the doctor to allow her to make the call..until one of the doctor said, 'let her..she knows what she is doing'.

Oh by the way, It was four am in the morning. After the two times of ringing tones, she could hear her mum's voice answered the phone. Straightaway she cried for forgiveness..She was shouting painfully...
'mum, please forgive me..It is too painful.The pain is unbearable..please forgive me..'
and then her mum said, 'Is it you ######'? What happen to you?
Then she said' I am giving birth right now..but the baby seems does not want to come out..please mum I am so in pain'...
Then vaguely her mum said..'I have already forgive you since ages ago..do not worry, I will perform ' solat hajat' and pray to Allah to make sure you can pass this big ordeal'..Then the conversation went off.

Alhamdulilah, in less than 30 minutes, she had an urged to push the baby..she did not know where the strength came from. Can you see, what will happen if we make our parents especially our mum aggrieved with us? This true story makes me realized one thing..' syurga seorang anak di bawah tapak kaki ibu..dan syurga seorang isteri di bawah keredhaan suaminya'.

Back to this girl story, Her mum has forgiven her but everytime she wants to meet her mum
( and in fact she regularly return to her mum's home with her baby), but the saddest thing is,her mum will avoid her. Her mum keep telling her that it is not the right time for them to meet.Seriously, I respect this girl. She keeps trying to win her family back but after three years the condition is still the same. Everything seems to be like the back and forth journey in the same circle. Nevertheless, she never let her emotion overcome her thought. It has been good for her to enjoy the cheerful life instead of moping around with the problems. Well, in the nutshell, I think, to all parents in this world, do give your children blessing if they want to get married as long as they choose the right partner. Nobody is perfect in this world. What a shame to miss the chances to watch your grandchildren grow just simply because your indomitable. Here, it is foreordain for my friend to 'bermadu' so who are we to against HIM, The Almighty??