Life is too short to hold the negative feelings!

Mood swings has been hitting me recently. I do not know what is wrong with me but everything seems to be wrong. I hate it when that happens. It makes me lose my plot. Enragement, weakness, fatigue, grievous, laziness and all sorts of negative feelings are now good friends of mine. Sometimes, I feel hatred but I do not know to whom? and why? I hold grudges, but to whom? Am I going to be mad? What is wrong with me. Perhaps, I am so stressed after knowing that my younger brother is not well. He was admitted to the hospital because of dengue fever. My parents told me he is getting better from the fever but another illness took place, where he could not open his mouth, and if he tried to do so, the painfulness will hit his jaws. After checking with the doctor, it was determined that something is not right but the doctor does not know what exactly happened to my bro. But the doctor said that to make my bro to be able to open his mouth like usual, he has to undergo teeth extraction, I am not talking about one tooth to be extracted but four teeth, and the nightmare is, all at once! Can you imagine that?

I still remember a few years back when I had a tooth extracted, I fell unconscious right after I had my tooth out. Not to say, how panic the dentist was with my condition, whereupon, she had to ask Am to come inside the room where I was lying down unconsciously to interrogate him whether I had any illness that forbade me from the tooth extraction. Funny enough, but it is a normal incident for me when it comes to something that involves "hospitalization and clinical". I totally cannot stand those things, I tried so many times, but when I saw blood especially, the dizziness, anxiousness and fuddle feelings will bang on my head like hell! and I admit this is my drawback in life! Sigh!

Back to my bro topic, if he refuses to extract the teeth, the doctor said that he is afraid that he has to do something with my bro's jaws. The right word for that is "to make a hole through the jaws". It sounds awful and terribly painful. Please pray for him! I asked my mum what she is going to do? And my mum said, she will try to get the traditional treatment first and maybe for a couple of days or weeks and see whether my bro shows recovery or not...Or otherwise, get the second opinion from another doctors, or if nothing is changed, maybe teeth extraction could be the last option.

For the time being, I keep my hands up and pray to Allah so that my bro will be back on track. The way that he used to be. Until this entry has been written, I still cannot figure out what exactly is the connection between dengue fever with the teeth! Any idea my friends? Apparently, I realize that I have to be more patient to face any problems that are thrown at me. I know that, life is too short to hold enragement and all the negative feelings.

Oh by the way, I just came back from college with my Friend, Stephanie. We went there to ask about the French class for me. I have found a class that suits my condition and my budget. The fee is not too bloody expensive compared to the other learning centres that we have been to before, and since I am in a tight budget after coming back from the trip..hehehe... my friend was offering me to pay for the class on behalf of me, I feel so happy until I was bursting into tears. She asked me to give the answer by the end of this week, whether to enrol for the class or not. And the first class will start next monday for almost a year and at the end of the course, I need to sit for an exam. It sounds too good to be true, but yes it is true!hehhee..Think and act wisely Nurul!